Personal Property
by Cardboard Bike
Summary: Everyone's avoiding Iruka, and he has no idea why.


_This is a little bit of jealous fluff for MP Rago. I hope it's close to what you asked for. _

_Named for the Def Leppard song because "Off limits, out of bounds, under lock'n'key, confidential, for my eyes only" is _**so**_ how Kakashi views Iruka. He'd lock him up in a tower if he could._

**o0o**

Something suspicious was going on, and Iruka didn't like it. Not one single person had initiated a conversation with him all day, and when he spoke to them first they acted shifty and escaped as fast as they possibly could. He had yet to find someone who wasn't slippery enough to slide through his fingers.

He sighed, and patted his hair again without thinking. He'd forgotten his hair tie once and people had acted strangely around him then, too, so he'd originally thought that might be it. But his hair was up in its usual ponytail and no matter how many times he touched his head that wasn't going to change. Besides, people had been blushing at him then. Now they seemed almost afraid of him.

Iruka walked as he thought, feet headed vaguely towards Ichiraku on autopilot, doing his best to ignore the way shinobi turned around and headed in the other direction when they noticed him coming. Maybe he'd killed someone in his sleep? Nah. He shook his head at himself. If he'd done that he'd have been detained by ANBU as soon as it had happened. It couldn't be that bad.

Had he pissed off someone important? Iruka couldn't remember. He yelled at an awful lot of jōnin but they'd never tried to get back at him before, because he always had a reason for yelling and they seemed to meekly accept that they'd made a mistake and 'Yes, Sensei'ed him apologetically. So it probably wasn't that. He double-checked to make sure there wasn't toilet paper stuck to his foot. Something like that probably wouldn't garner this reaction, but you could never be too sure.

He paused suddenly, finding himself outside of his blond student's favourite ramen bar. Well, it wouldn't hurt to have something to eat while he tried to puzzle this out, he reasoned, and slipped inside giving Teuchi a warm smile.

The ramen bar owner bowed in response. "Hello, Iruka-sensei. You're here without Naruto-kun?"

"Oh, thank Kami," Iruka breathed, sliding into one of the chairs at the bar. At Teuchi's questioning look he gave a wry smile. "Everyone's been avoiding me all day, and I can't figure out why. I'm just glad you're not one of them." He paused as a thought struck him. "Maybe I have bad breath? …Nah, Genma would have told me straight up about that one instead of running off like I was going to murder his firstborn child. Usually I can't pry him off with a crowbar. Is there something different about me today?"

"You look the same as always, Iruka-sensei," the old man said, "And I can't imagine why people would want to run away from you. Do you want your usual?"

"Yes, please." Iruka leaned heavily on the bench, sighing. "I just don't get it."

"The answer will come to you," Teuchi smiled, "Just stop thinking for a bit and enjoy your ramen."

Iruka smiled back. "Aye, I probably should."

A cry of "Iruka-sensei!" distracted him momentarily as his favourite blond barreled into his chest and clung to his middle. "Oi, Sensei, you're not allowed to get ramen without me," Naruto pouted.

"Ah, Naruto." Iruka ruffled the boy's hair fondly. At least _somebody_ wasn't afraid to talk to him or touch him. Even his class had seemed hesitant to look at him this morning, and he'd been irrationally worried that someone had henged him into some sort of monster the night before. "I just needed to think and my feet brought me here. Do you think anything is different about me today?"

Naruto hopped up on the stool beside his favourite sensei and squinted. "No, you look the same as always. You should cut your hair, then you'd look different."

"I don't _want_ to look different," Iruka started, but stopped when he saw Teuchi's daughter struggle in with a load of supplies for the shop. "Ayame-san, would you like help with those?"

Ayame took one look at him, turned pale, dropped the supplies and ran. Iruka sighed. "People have been doing that, and I don't understand why."

Naruto clenched his fists, and slammed one down on the bench. Iruka didn't think he'd ever seen him look so mad. "That's disgusting, Iruka-sensei. I'm going to find out who's making people do this to you and make them _pay._"

And he was off and running before Iruka could say anything. He sighed again. He'd temporarily forgotten that Naruto used to be avoided in exactly this way by the villagers, so no wonder he was mad.

"I apologise for Ayame-chan's behaviour," Teuchi said, "I don't know what's gotten into her."

Iruka waved him off. "It doesn't matter, Teuchi-san. I suppose I'll go home now, though. No one to avoid me there."

He took out his wallet to pay for his food but Teuchi shook his head. "Have it free as an apology for my daughter's rude manners. You are a loyal customer, after all, and you didn't really eat any of it. Would you like it in a take-away bag?"

Iruka smiled. "No thank you, Teuchi-san. I'm not really hungry anymore anyway. I'll see you later."

The old man nodded. "Ja ne."

Iruka pondered Ayame's reaction as he left the ramen bar. He'd thought it was just shinobi avoiding him, but Ayame was a civilian. Something was definitely not right here, and it annoyed him because he didn't have time to think about this crazy problem. He had papers to grade, dangit.

When he reached his apartment he pushed the door open harder than necessary and dropped his bag right inside the doorway, too fed up to bother putting it in his proper place. He yelped as arms snuck around his waist and a warm face pressed into his neck.

"What the -" he spun around and the tension that had built up over the day drained out of him. "Kakashi, you scared me." He sagged in his lover's arms.

"Maa, I'm sorry." Kakashi gave him that ridiculously fake shut-eye smile, then looked at him seriously. "Are you alright? You don't look very good."

Iruka rubbed his temples tiredly and pulled out the band in his hair. "It's just been a bad day. I am glad you're not avoiding me though."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "Why was it a bad day? Have people been annoying you?"

Iruka smiled and kissed the underside of his jaw lightly. He'd felt the jōnin's arms tighten around him slightly at his words and although he could look after himself he found Kakashi's protectiveness cute. "Just the opposite, actually. People won't talk to me, and run away as soon as I get near them. It's baffling, to say the least."

"Good," Kakashi said seriously, and it took a few minutes for Iruka to realize that that had _not_ been the supportive comment one would expect from a lover after they had been continuously snubbed all day.

He shoved the jōnin away. "What do you mean, 'good'?" he demanded, eyes flashing and arms folded, legs apart in the angry teacher stance.

Kakashi took a couple of steps back, and then decided to try his luck and hold his ground, defiance flashing in his own eye. "I got back from my mission yesterday," he said, "And I was watching you. It has come to my attention that you are too friendly with people and it makes them take liberties with you that they shouldn't."

"And what do you mean by 'liberties'?" Iruka deadpanned, his frown deepening.

Kakashi knew he was in deep water, but he plowed on relentlessly. "That fluffy haired kid with the blue eyes and the massive amounts of bracelets _hugged _you," he said indignantly. "Nobody is allowed to hug you except for me."

"You mean Aoi-kun?" Iruka's mouth dropped open in shock. "Kakashi, he's eight years old! His father's been on a mission for the past six months and he was lonely. You can't fault him for wanting a hug."

Kakashi sniffed. "He should have picked someone else. Besides, that girl from the ramen stand _smiled_ at you, and you smiled back. She was flirting. You shouldn't encourage people, you know."

Iruka dragged his hands through his hair, trying very hard not to shout. Kakashi's protectiveness was still kind of cute, but now it seemed to have reached a new kind of scary. "Kakashi," he gritted out, "She works in retail. You have to smile at customers, or they won't come back. And returning a smile is what people who have manners do. Do I even want to know what Kurenai did?"

"She said you had a nice ass." Kakashi folded his arms across his chest and refused to give way. After all, this was his Iruka and he was not going to give him over for anything. "And that you were sweet."

"I'm not attracted to women, 'Kashi," Iruka said as calmly as he could, "And Kurenai is practically engaged to Asuma, surely you're not so dense you haven't noticed that? She was just complimenting me." Though why she'd have been having a conversation about his ass he had no idea, and he didn't think he wanted to know.

"She was talking to Genma," Kakashi pointed out. "And he said 'that chūnin's a tasty bit of ass, alright. If he wasn't such a prude I'd have already had my way with him.'"

"Well, I'll give you Genma, even though you know he's like that with everyone," Iruka admitted. "But he wouldn't have said it if he knew I was in a relationship with you."

Kakashi smiled and the glint in his eye was downright evil. "Oh, he knows now."

"So what did everyone else do?" Iruka asked. "And what did you do to make them all hate me?"

"Well, after those instances and a couple more I decided that everybody needed to know who you belong to." Kakashi shrugged. "So I may just have threatened them a little, just to make sure no one hit on you or anything."

Iruka narrowed his eyes. "'A little?'"

"I may have said I'd castrate them with a rusty kunai if they come near you, but the details don't matter that much, right?" Kakashi mumbled. He'd felt self-righteous at the time, but now he was beginning to feel that maybe he'd gone too far.

"You said that to my students?" Iruka exploded, and Kakashi held his hands up in front of his face in weak defense.

"No, no way! I told them that I'm a jōnin, and jōnin can make scary things happen if certain children get too close to a certain sensei."

Iruka growled, but he could feel the anger leaking out of him. Kakashi had pulled his mask down to his chin and was pouting, his lower lip sticking out and quivering. "I just want you all to myself. I don't like it when other people look at you."

Iruka smiled slightly, but held up a stern finger. "I understand, Kakashi, but you need to understand that you can't threaten people if they talk to me. I'll get lonely if everyone avoids me."

"You won't get lonely! You'll have me," Kakashi argued.

"And I do like talking to you," Iruka soothed, "But to teach my class properly I can't have them afraid of asking questions. And if the shinobi are all afraid of talking to me I may as well give up my mission desk job."

Kakashi shifted his gaze to the floor, letting out a defeated sigh. "I thought you'd say that. That's why I made you these." He handed Iruka a large patch, the kind that you sew on clothes, which was detailed with a henohenomoheji.

Iruka stared at him blankly.

Kakashi grinned, showing him the smile that went with the shut-eye looked. Iruka was really very glad that no one else could see it or else he'd be beating off girls with a stick. "It's to go on the back of your jacket," he explained. "So everyone will know that you're mine. It took me three hours to figure out how to sew them onto your spares, and now you just need to do the one you're wearing."

Iruka stared at him in shock for a minute before his brain returned to him and he ran to the bedroom. Kakashi had indeed redecorated his jackets, and he'd done it all on his own too, judging by the messy stitching. "Hatake Kakashi," he growled, shaking one of his jackets in the jōnin's face, "I am _not_ one of your ninken. You _cannot_ claim me like this."

Kakashi's grin slid off his face. He'd thought it was a good surprise. "But, but you're pack now. And it's a visual reminder that you belong to me."

"It makes me look like a submissive bitch," Iruka snarled.

Kakashi was giving him the puppy dog look and he looked so adorable in his confusion and he was upset and – and that didn't mean Iruka was going to stop being mad at him. Even though the thought behind the henohenomoheji was kind of cute. "I know you're not," Kakashi said miserably, lacing his fingers together. "I just don't like it when people touch you and I thought if I labeled you as mine they'd know it's not allowed."

Iruka's heart melted. "Oh, come here."

Kakashi shuffled forward reluctantly and Iruka folded him into a hug. "Hey," Iruka said slowly, "If you don't like people touching me why didn't you say anything to Naruto? He's probably the biggest perpetrator."

"Maa, I figured he'd be more mad at me for the way I touch you than I would be about his touching. I mean, I get to touch _all_ of you," Kakashi said with a leer.

"Pervert, what are you doing to my Iruka-sensei?" the aforementioned blond bombshell screeched, making Iruka jump back in alarm and Kakashi pull up his mask and duck for cover behind him.

"Save me, 'Ruka," Kakashi whimpered.

"Naruto, what have I told you before about knocking before you burst into someone's house?" Iruka scolded. "And why are you here, anyway?"

"I found out who's been making people hate you," Naruto said proudly, pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi. "Baka-sensei's been threatening people."

Iruka sighed and slid a reassuring arm around Kakashi's waist. "Yes, I've figured that out. And we are going to have a nice long chat tonight about your behaviour, aren't we?" he said sternly to his lover.

Kakashi, who would pretty much agree to anything that would get Naruto away from him right now, nodded fervently.

"Oh." Naruto looked a little bit let down with how calmly his revealing news had been received. "Are you going to beat him up?" he asked hopefully.

"No," Iruka said firmly, and Kakashi let out a sigh of relief. "But he will get his punishment tomorrow." Kakashi wished he could take his sigh back. Iruka dealt out the harshest punishments ever.

"Oh, well that makes sense," Naruto said cheerfully, wearing a slightly sadistic smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi hadn't known previously that it was possible to make the word 'tomorrow' sound like a threat. He buried his face in Iruka's neck and breathed in deeply. He had the feeling tomorrow was going to be the longest day of his life.

**o0o**

Iruka smiled happily. His class was extremely well behaved today, and he had his lover to thank for that. He'd thought that tying up the sinning jōnin would serve as a way to show them that even if Kakashi threatened them he wasn't really a threat and Iruka would beat him up if he ever heard about it happening.

That had worked, but it had also made them think he was some sort of super-shinobi and made them fearful of playing pranks and messing around. He didn't think the peace would continue for more than a few days, but still it would be nice while it lasted.

And Kakashi looked very very sorry for himself. Iruka grinned. He didn't think that he'd be playing any pranks again for a while either. "'Ruka, let me down," Kakashi whined. "The damn kids have been gone for ten minutes already."

At first he'd let Iruka tie him up, knowing he'd been in the wrong by threatening his lover's precious students and willing to make up for it in any way he could. He'd thought it was endearing, Iruka being the big bad man overpowering the strong jōnin. Then he'd tried to escape when the class had gone outside for lunch, and to his horror had found that he couldn't. Iruka had stolen all his weapons saying they weren't allowed in the classroom and he couldn't bring his hands together to make seals.

Iruka raised an eyebrow. "Are you that keen to come to the missions office with me? Because as soon as I set you free that's where we're going."

Kakashi fell silent.

Iruka smiled and kissed him lightly on top of the mask. "Good boy. You're doing well." His hands played lightly around Kakashi's neck before he made a few seals and the ropes dropped to the ground. Kakashi immediately leaped for the window, only to be jerked back inside harshly. "What the hell?"

"Uh uh uh." Iruka waved his finger at him. "You're not going anywhere."

Kakashi brought his hands up to his neck hesitantly and realized that Iruka hadn't just been playing with his neck, he'd been putting a collar on him. A collar on a chakra leash which lead straight to his darling chūnin's hand. "You're making _me_ the submissive little bitch, aren't you?" he said in disbelief.

"If you do this for me today, then I will wear these every day, even though you're technically not supposed to alter the uniform in any way, " Iruka said, turning his back on the jōnin so he could see that he was wearing the flak jacket with the henohenomoheji on it. Iruka turned again and stood on his tiptoes to kiss Kakashi on the forehead. "I know this is really hard for you," he whispered, "But you really shouldn't have threatened people in the first place."

"I realize that now." Kakashi bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to apologise to," Iruka said with a smile, then tugged on the leash. "C'mon, my shift starts soon."

**o0o**

It had been happening for over an hour. Shinobi would come to the door as usual, but three or four steps inside the mission room they would freeze, their eyes would go wide, and they'd either burst out laughing or run for cover.

Actually, the brunet known to everyone as Iruka-sensei was the only one who was acting like everything was normal, and he was the one with the chakra string around his wrist. The chakra string that led to the collar around a very depressed looking Copy-nin's neck who was sitting on the floor at his feet, holding a sign that read, _I take back what I said to you yesterday. Iruka-sensei can fraternize with whomever he wants to. Sincerely, Hatake Kakashi._

"Damn, I never would have guessed that Kakashi's a uke," someone crowed, and someone else shoved their hand over that particular idiots mouth as Kakashi's head shot up and he glared in the general direction the comment had come from.

"Nice sign, Hatake," another voice said, and Kakashi swiveled his head to see the speaker. Of course it had to be Shiranui Genma, who was gazing at Iruka as if seeing him in a new light. "If I'd known you were this kinky I would have tried harder to get in your pants," he leered. "Are you free tonight?"

Kakashi scowled but bit his tongue. He didn't want to get into any more trouble. Although he had to admit that being dominated by Iruka like this was a bit of a turn on. It had been a long time since anyone had attempted to exert power over him.

Iruka frowned. "Just because he overreacted doesn't mean there wasn't some merit in what he was saying."

Genma flicked his senbon up. "What are you saying?"

Iruka shrugged carelessly, burying his fingers in Kakashi's hair. "I'm just saying if you keep trying to grab my ass I'm going to turn a blind eye to whatever he wants to do to you. And, you know, I've got a few rusty kunai that I'm willing to donate to a good cause."

Genma took a step back from the feral grin that Kakashi was directing at him, visible even beneath the mask. "Ah, okay. Just if you want to think about it, you call me."

Iruka watched him back out of the room with a small smile on his lips, and everyone in his line stood up straighter, a few of them drifting surreptitiously over to join a different queue. He was starting to feel as if Kakashi had unwittingly done him a favour by screwing up. No more unwanted Genma innuendoes. That would make life so much easier.

**o0o**

As soon as they got home Iruka threw his arms around his lover and kissed him soundly. "Thank you so much," he whispered. "I know you could have easily defeated my chakra but you didn't."

Kakashi shrugged. "If I hadn't done it you would have been mad at me for weeks. I can't go for that long without sex."

Iruka chuckled and reached up to remove the collar but Kakashi caught his hand. "Oh no, leave it on," he said in a low, sultry voice that sent shivers down Iruka's spine. "You made me your submissive little bitch and so you're just going to have to live with that, at least for tonight."

Iruka stared at him in surprise before his lips twisted up into a smirk. "On your knees," he ordered, and Kakashi complied obediently. His smile got bigger. Oh, he would have fun with this. Kakashi should make mistakes more often, he decided.

**o0o**

_henohenomoheji is a face that the Japanese draw on scarecrows, and all of Kakashi's dogs have this symbol on their vests ('cause, you know, Kakashi means scarecrow). _


End file.
